Hello God It’s Me….Lisa
So here we are again…God and I always seem to have this same discussion when I am about ready to venture into a new big huge creative discovery and when it is approaching a new day i.e midnight!
So the discussion (in my head and apartment and on my facebook page) has been about talent and thank you so much Deb for the compliment it blows me away everytime someone says that I am “so talented” because I don’t really know what that means, how can I be talented when it is so effortless, it’s not me it’s God; those are all thoughts that ensue when someone comments on my talent. It is very, very difficult for me right out the gate to take a compliment my head has to filter all that garbage first then I generally do get around to a thank you. And Deb I truly do thank you. Somewhere in the depths of my being my little girl is jumping up and down going “i knew it. i knew it.” So i deeply and with my whole heart thank you very, very much.
There is an epidemic going around this week. Deb isn’t the only one who is using words like ‘talented’, ‘incredible’, beautiful’, ‘gorgeous’ and talented has come up several times…and i struggle with that inside myself while at the same time jump up and down with glee…i ask myself ‘how are those words used to describe me? things that i have done?” it is truly amazing….and strange…i have looked every single one of those words up in a dictionary just to make sure i understand what each one means and not ONE SINGE ONE has a negative meaning attached to it…how is that possible?
GOD IS HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE PEOPLE…i am convinced of that…i am a conduit…He has chosen to use me as an instrument; to make beauty out of what once was ash…i am currently digging my way(WITH HIS HELP)out of the ashes; i ask him often to mold me, He is the Potter, i want to be the clay…He is making my work beautiful…incredible….beautiful and gorgeous….and He is the only one that has taken this poor, broken vessel and given me any talent worth speaking of….oh Father thank God today I KNOW that i am not one single bit worthy of any of it…and if you could see to it that i stay open to You using me to continue to move people that would be the blessing of a lifetime…and i would not have a need for anything else.
I always believed i would never amount to anything….whether i was told that or just picked it up along the way…well no one, including myself knew that i would believe in You and now THROUGH YOU…look at what i can do…i move people with my art…my pictures, my words and my paintings….who’da thought? You did all along didn’t ya? I LOVE YOU LORD…WITH MY WHOLE HEART ❤ ❤